Through His Sister's Eyes

Rick, during his college years

Last Sunday morning, the Lord called my brother, Rick home to Heaven.

 In the week that has followed, through many tears,  I have had the joy of reading remembrances of him written from people whose lives he has changed in a profound way.  On Wednesday evening, my family and I stood for 4 1/2 hours while hundreds of people from all the parts of his life came to pay tribute to him and express their love and sympathy over the loss of my very beloved brother.  On Thursday morning, we celebrated his life with a funeral service filled with the music he would have loved and with a sermon that shared the good news of eternal life through Jesus Christ; exactly the way he would have wanted it preached.  He always said the first thing he wanted to do when he reached Heaven was to see the face of Jesus and the second thing would be to hug my dad and tell him how much he had missed him.  Now, I have one more person waiting to meet me when I get there. 

Throughout this week, I have heard many stories from college friends, church friends, and colleagues.  I have heard from those he led to Christ, baptized, and couples he married.   I heard many stories about lives he had saved, couples he had married, and those he had mourned with while loved ones were buried.  My brother, Brian had stories from his unique position of being not only Rick's only brother, but a fellow pastor who shared things with him that only he could. 
But, now it's my turn to share the memories that only I can, as Rick's only sister; his "baby sister".

I was trying to bring back my earliest recollection of being with Rick.  I have vague memories of a vacation when I was 3 years old, but my first actual memory of being with my brother was an early Saturday morning when I was 4 or 5.  This would have made Rick about 13 or 14.  By this time, he was already heavily involved in sports.  Baseball, basketball, football...you name it, he played it! I believe this particular morning it was intramural bowling.  He would get up very early on Saturday mornings and eat his cereal as he read the sports page before his ride would pick him up.  I would sit next to him and look at the "funny papers", even though I really couldn't read!  Even then, I just wanted to be next to him.  Of course, he was never around long.  Up and out the door he would be. I learned to share my brother very early on.  It would be a necessary skill throughout my life!   I would relish the times when he and all his friends would show up to play basketball on our basketball court. Friday nights in the summer meant groups of his friends playing cards on the carport and putting up cots and sleeping bags for a night under the stars.  As I got a little older, I gained an appreciation for the fact that he had some very cute friends so the constant "bounce" of the basketball didn't seem quite so annoying.  How I loved the Saturday night high school basketball games and the summer baseball games.  Even though I was young and didn't pay too much attention I learned to say "Good game, Rick", whether or not he had actually been in the game. He would just smile down at me and "Well, Thank you."

Sometimes, I would get lucky and he wouldn't have any place to go or do for a little while and he would take me to the park or to what we called "The Icee Store".  One of my favorite memories was when he walked all over the neighborhood with me looking for "Icee Bear" points on the sides of empty Icee cups so that I could earn a beach towel with the Icee Bear face on it!  (Back before people were ashamed to drop their trash on the ground you could find these cups all over the place!).  When I was afraid of the "see saw" in the park taking me too high off the ground, he would stand up and move the other seat down and up......just high enough so I wouldn't be scared.   On Saturday evenings while my parents were at card club, he would make my brother and I his special "secret" potato chip dip of mustard, A-1 sauce, and parmesan cheese that we would eat while we watched  "My Three Sons" and "Time Tunnel". Afterwards, I was the "crowd" as he and Brian would play "Big Time Wrestling" as "Flying Fred Curry" and "The Sheik".   I craved time alone with him because there wasn't much of it.  He was always doing something, running somewhere and I would tag along whenever I could.

After he gave his life to Jesus in 1971 and he felt the call to the ministry, my favorite times were those Sunday mornings when he would preach in various churches in the community and around the state.  I can remember those early sermons and I learned my first Bible studies from my brother.  When he met his wife, Elizabeth, I had to learn to share him yet again, but this time with someone who would also be my sister.  I will never forget the night he came home and told my parents he had asked Elizabeth to marry him....while he was still in high school.  As a 10 year old, how much fun it was to be with the two of them during those early years of their life together!

 But, time marches on, as it always does. He graduated from high school and went to college.  Back in the days before the internet, when long distance calls cost a fortune, Rick would call home on Sunday nights from a pay phone in his dorm. I was allowed about a half a minute to say hello, after which I would go to my room and cry my eyes out because I missed him so much. I waited for those weekend visits home as much as mom and dad, and they would end much too soon.

  Marriage came, and fatherhood soon after and during those years, I grew up as well.  As we aged, even though we had our own families, he remained my hero.  He was always here for me....never farther away than a phone call. He performed my marriage ceremony, baptized me and my husband and our sons, put up with my husband's love for the Bengals, and led us as we dedicated our children to the Lord.  When our father passed away, he held our family together with his faith and his strength  He became a "bampa" to three wonderful grandchildren, who have their own special memories of the great love their grandfather had for them.

I was so blessed to have Rick as my brother. I used to tell him that he reminded me of "Charlie Brown" and he used to tell me that even though I was his "baby sister", I was really much more like "Lucy" than "Sally"!  If you had to hand pick the qualities you would want in a brother, Rick had them all. I loved him with all my heart.

And now, I have to share him again. This time it will be harder because I can't pick up the phone to call him, or IM him on the internet. I can't even send him a round of "Family Feud" to help me win.  I'm not sure how I am going to get through it, but I will.  He would tell me that my faith will get me through it and that I need to be strong in the Lord.  But, what will keep me going the most is that fact that I know someday, when I reach the gates of Heaven, he is going to be there waiting for me  My hero, my brother.

                                                                 I love you, Rick

Remembering Rosemary

                                                        My Dear Friend, Rosemary

I was six years old when I met Rosemary.  I don't remember the exact date or even what season it was, but I think it was summer.  She and her husband, Harlis, had moved into the house diagonally across the street from ours and I had been told they had two little girls.  That was exciting to me because I had two older brothers and most of the kids in the neighborhood were not only older than I, but were also boys.  Even the two best friends I had had were boys, and only one of them still lived here.  It was one of those boys, Jimmy, who facilitated my introduction to Rosemary that day.  We usually met each other outside in the morning and on that particular one he greeted me with the information that we were going to have to go to the new neighbor's home to ask if their daughters would like to play with us.  I was a little nervous about this because I tended to be fearful of meeting people, but there was no talking him out of it because those were his orders for the day.  So, off we went, walking across the yard to the house and we knocked on the door.   A beautiful lady answered  and with a sweet southern accent she said "Well, good morning."  We asked if her daughters, whose names were Dana and Diana, would like to come out and play and with that began a friendship of 45 years that changed the course of my life and that of my family.   When she opened her door to us that day, we walked into a home that literally enveloped me in love.  Throughout the years that home was a haven for myself, my parents, and my brother in various ways at different times.  What my family saw in that home was a love for and a relationship with Jesus like none we had ever seen before and because of Rosemary we found that relationship ourselves.   While Dana and Diana were riding bikes and playing kickball, Rosemary and Harlis were becoming my parents dearest friends.  I could usually find my mother sitting at Rosemary's kitchen table as they shared coffee and stories, laughter and a few tears.  Dad and Harlis could often be found talking boats and fishing. I know they cherished those friendships.   Life, as it always does, brought many challenges that sometimes caused distances in our friendships, but the love that was at the heart of them always remained.  There are some memories that are so clear in my mind that I can close my eyes and see it all again.  I can still smell  and almost taste the chocolate chip cookies Rosemary made.  I can see her snapping green beans to the "whish-whish" sound of the gauge on the pressure cooker as it sat on the stove.  I can hear her saying goodnight prayers with Dana and I as we were tucked into bed at night after going to Bible school.   I can see her hugging the many children she cared for, including my own.  I remember her beautiful handwriting on the countless greeting cards she gave me and I can hear her strong voice singing the old gospel songs.  In this day, when few people even know their neighbors, I was blessed to have Rosemary as a friend; someone who still greeted me with open arms the same way she did when I was six years old.  Recently we saw each other at a fast food restaurant.   We sat down and talked for just a few precious minutes. We talked about our children and grandchildren and her great grandchildren.  We talked about my job loss and she asked about my mother and she shared stories of the vacation from which they had just returned.  We said goodbye that day, stating as we always did that we needed to get together and visit.  When I was told on Tuesday that Rosemary had gone home to heaven, I felt like she had taken a part of my heart with her.  She has left a void that cannot be filled.  There is a song that says "I have more to go to Heaven for than I had yesterday" and that is certainly true for me today.  I know she is there, along with many other loved ones who have gone on before, and she is preparing her new house. Someday, when I get there and I am going to go knock on her door........ and I know just how she is going to answer.

Shopping Saturday ~ Moler's Dairy

If you grew up on the east side of Dayton, Ohio in the 1960's and 70's you would probably remember the giant statue of a cow that stood on Smithville Road outside the Moler's Dairy factory.  She was a popular attraction for many, many years before the dairy closed down and the land was sold for apartments and other small businesses. We had two major dairy companies in business in the Kettering area when I was a child. The Borden Dairy had it's own mascot, Elsie the Cow and her face graced the front of the Borden building for many years.  Elsie and her family made sure that moms across the area knew it was important to provide their families with healthy dairy products!  My interest in the dairy business had less to do with milk and more to do with the wonderful "frozen" treats that our next door neighbor would bring home from his job at Moler's Dairy.  He didn't really even speak to us kids too often, but in the summertime he would often show up at home with enough frozen ice pops for all the kids on the block. To this day, I have never tasted any that were as flavorful as those treats! We also had our regular milk and juice deliveries from the milkman who drove a blue dairy truck through the neighborhood every day.  How different things are today! Can you even imagine having someone being able to make their living now by making home deliveries of milk and eggs today? Ah, the "good old days".

Funeral Card Friday ~ Royal Neighbors Resolution

This doesn't exactly fit into the category of a funeral card, but it is a "Resolution" written on the occasion of the death of my great, great grandmother, Ella Jacks Adams on 9 February, 1902,  and printed in the Sabina, Ohio newspaper.  She died at only 39 years of age, leaving her husband David Henry Adams and her children, Tillie, Dessie, and Elby to mourn her passing. 

My great, great grandmother, Ella Jacks Adams

In Memoriam

Violet Camp, 2622, Royal Neighbors of America, of Sabina, O., have been called to mourn the death of our esteemed neighbor, Ella Adams, who was one of our charter members and is the first missing link in our circle. She was called home, Feb. 9, 1902.

Whereas, It has pleased our Heavenly Father to call from our midst our beloved neighbor; therefore be it

Resolved, That in the death of our neighbor our camp has sustained a severe loss of a true and faithful member, whom we shall sadly miss. And be it further

Resolved, That the entire membership of our camp extend their heartfelt sympathy to the bereaved husband and children in their hour of trial and affliction, and further be it

Resolved. That a copy of these resolutions be sent to the sorrowing family, that copies be sent to the local papers, that a copy be spread upon the records of this camp and that our charter be draped in mourning for a period of thirty days.

Imogene Blakley,
Almeda Gaskins,
Ella Duff, Committee


The above resolution was offered by The Royal Neighbors of America, Violet Camp 2622.  The Royal Neighbors is a national organization formed by the wives of the Modern Woodmen of America in 1888. Their desire, as you can tell from the organization name, was to become "good neighbors" and offer to help to those in need.  If you click on the their name above, you can read more about their history and their vision.  

Treasure Chest Thursday - NCR Blood Bank Card

              The NCR Blood Bank card I found in my father's old wallet

I know that it might sound strange to consider a "blood bank" card one of my treasures, but this one is special.  My father worked as a toolmaker at the NCR corporation in Dayton from the late 1950's until the company cut the majority of it's manufacturing workforce in the 1970's.  I found this card in an old wallet of my father's, along with a few miscellaneous receipts.  I love the fact that it depicts the old NCR logo, but most importantly, it gives my father's blood type and it states that he contributed to the NCR Blood Bank.  The funny thing is I can remember hearing the story of how he could never donate blood after this because he fainted during this first time.  So, this is a treasure for many reasons; not the least of which is the smile it brings to my face when I remember that story.

Wordless Wednesday - Portrait of My Mother

                                              Portrait of my mother, Marilyn Norris Shoemaker,
                                              as painted by my Aunt, Jeanne Norris Crago.
                                              circa, 1968.

Another Christmas Past?

Another Christmas Past?

Happy New Year, 2013.  I have now "celebrated" 50 New Year's celebrations and 50 days of Christmas. During the last couple of months, I have spent much time reminiscing with the ghosts of my Christmases past. Last year in my Advent Calendar of Christmas memories I shared many of my favorite stories and thanks to this blog, I am able to go back and read them again. While doing so, I couldn't help but remember some of the joy and anticipation I was feeling during those early Christmas times. The scent of the Christmas tree, the colored lights shining behind the white curtains in our living room, watching the snow softly falling in the glow of the streetlights, thinking I heard Santa walking softly around my house while I pretended to be asleep, believing the red lights on the radio towers were Rudolph's nose.... 

Ah, the magic that is childhood.  How quickly it flew by.

Even at 50 years of age, I still find myself at times seeing those towers and remembering how I stood outside my house on Christmas Eve, believing that red light just might be leading Santa's sleigh through the night sky and sometimes I feel the goosebumps at the thought of what might be waiting underneath the tree.

Many of the people I spent those wonderful holidays with are no longer with me, but the memory of my loved ones is so clear in my mind that they are always here in spirit. This year I seemed to be missing those people even more than usual, so I created an Ancestor Christmas Tree and on it I placed photos of many of my ancestors and those of my husband as well.  It is a reminder of those wonderful past Christmas and New Year's Days.  I labeled the reverse of each photo so that my children and grandchildren will know their names and I plan to have the tree up again next year when my new granddaughter will be able to appreciate a Christmas tree for the first time.  It helped me hold onto a little bit of "Christmas Past".

Photograph of my great grandmother, Margaret McBride Marling, on my Ancestor Christmas Tree.

 

50 Christmases?  No. That can't possibly be true! I know it was only yesterday I was wishing for that talking doll.......

 

Happy New Year, 2013.  May it be a blessed year for us all.

Wedding Wednesday ~ Mary Moreland Saylor

For this Wedding Wednesday, I am sharing this delightful photograph of Mary Moreland Saylor, wife of Roscoe Saylor. Mary was the daughter of William and Ida Moreland of Indianapolis and Roscoe was the son of Perry and Ida Belle Swadner Saylor, grandson of Samuel and Caroline Routsong Swadner, and my 2nd cousin, 2 times removed.

Roscoe was born in Montgomery County, Ohio on 17 December, 1892 and worked as a salesman in Indiana, where he married Mary on 28 June, 1924. 

Tombstone Tuesday ~ Jacob and Anna Margaret Swadener

For today's Tombstone Tuesday, I am sharing the final resting place of Jacob and Anna Margaret Swadener, the grandparents of Charles E. Swadener, the attorney whose story I shared in an earlier post.  Jacob and Anna are my 3rd great grand uncle and aunt.

Jacob Swadener was born on 27 November, 1786 in Libertytown, Frederick County, Maryland, the son of Henrich (Henry) and Elizabeth Sentsor Schwedner.  By 1840, he was living in Van Buren Township, Montgomery County, Ohio, with his wife, Anna Margaret, and sons William and Michael (M.J.).  His oldest sons, Valentine and Abraham had not come with them.  They may have died in Maryland, but I have found no official records.
Jacob owned his farm in Van Buren Township, where he appeared on the US Census records until 1860.  Anna Margaret died in 1861 and Jacob followed her two years later.

They are buried in David's Cemetery, Kettering, Ohio.

Black Sheep Sunday ~ From Golden Goose to Black Sheep in One Afternoon

The gentleman pictured above is my 2nd cousin, 3 times removed, Charles Edward Swadener. I "discovered" Charles about a month ago, while I was spending a couple of hours searching for information on random last names in my family tree.  On that particular afternoon, I had decided to research the maiden name of my maternal great great grandmother, Clarinda Swadner, using the various ways it has been spelled throughout the years.  Using the "SWADENER" spelling, I began to search a newspaper resource.  I first discovered an article about Charles' father, Michael Swadener, whom I learned had once been the sheriff of Montgomery County, Ohio.  Feeling a sense of pride in the fact that one of my ancestors had been an early "lawman" in my hometime, I began to search for more information about Michael and his family.  Almost immediately,  in the 1882 Beers History of Montgomery County, Ohio, I found a biographical paragraph about Charles Swadener, attorney at law.  What a shining story it was!  Charles has been born in Dayton in 1853 and had attended the St. Mary's Institute and had been determined to study law.  He was accepted into the bar in Cincinnati, Ohio in 1874 and had formed several law partnerships in the city of Dayton.  He had married Leila Duel, a holder of Bachelors and Masters Degrees herself.  The final line of the biography states  "In his profession he is noted for his devotion to his clients' interests and this combined with his comprehensive knowledge of the law and correct application of its principles has carried him into important professional relations."  After reading this, I was feeling quite smug about my family member; especially since I had been writing recently about so many family scandals.  I saw my next blog post in my mind, "Charles Swadener, Attorney in the Family".  If my research had ended with that biography, that post would have probably been written.

 But, then I found the small article printed on page two, column 1 of the 18 December, 1895 edition of The Cleveland Plain Dealer.  It began  "RUIN AND DISGRACE".

You've got to be kidding. I couldn't believe what I was reading. The article began with the facts that Charles had been disbarred, was "shorn of all his former fortune, disgraced socially, his wife and children in want" and that he was a "physical and almost mental wreck".   Charles Swadener, my 2nd cousin, 3 times removed, just two years before the date of this article, was worth over $200,000, was a prominent and well respected citizen of Dayton.  Now, I was discovering that because of poor real estate investments, he had gone deeply into debt and to try to hide this debt he had begun embezzling the funds of his clients, to the tune of $90,000.  According to the article, he had to sell everything he had and even his family gave up some of their own belongings to try to pay his debt, but he still owed thousands.  His plea of guilty led to a sentence of one year in the penitentiary.   Oh shoot. There went my bragging blog post.

I was curious what happened to Charles afterwards.

Interestingly enough, on the United States Census form of both 1900 and 1910, Charles is listed as living in Dayton, with his occupation listed as "lawyer" and "attorney".  He is living with his wife, daughter, and servant, Sadie.  Obviously, Leila must have truly loved Charles since she stood by him and waited for him to come back home to her and it seems that he was able to come home and pick up the pieces of his life and become an attorney again.  I hope the victims of his crime were able to do the same.

According to his Ohio death certificate, Charles died on 9 September, 1910 from interstial nephritis with contributory arterio sclerosis. He was buried in Dayton's historic Woodland Cemetery.  Lela lived until 9 January, 1927, when she died in Chicago, Illinois.

I learned many things during that afternoon of work; not the least of which was to make sure I have researched everything I can about a subject BEFORE I start to write.  But, I guess I could still brag about the "lawman" in my family!